Christmas gets earlier every year.

So it's that time of year again. It's just a week or two earlier this time around.

The school Christmas Party is tomorrow. Being 17 and not 18, I can't actually 'drink' there. That said, everyone and his fucking dog is just getting drunk in their own homes beforehand. It's going to be like the bloody AA. Regardless, it should be a laugh - i'll be able to get to know some of the year 12's a bit better, and getting drunk with my year is always funny. Should be a good night.

The main thing that annoys me about Christmas being early is that it makes the actual day seem further away. Once I get near a 'big event day' like a Birthday or Easter - invariably something that means stuffing my fat face with chocolate - time slows down. There's always nothing to do, there's always no one to see in the run-up to one of these big days, and with Christmas the run-up is now about 4 months due to fucking Iceland adverts. 

I seriously hate Iceland.

This is an aggressive post. I apologize for not following the theme of 'Autistic Pseudo-Conspiracist' of my last one.

Urgent.

Someone needs to tell you. 

You might think you're real but you're not. You are actually a script in a computer program. The purpose of Experiment Foresight #6 is to establish the effect of misery on the human psyche. You may think that misery is a common thing, but you are wrong. Once again, you think in the realms of 2008. 

They are keeping me, Jason Donovan and 4 others in stasis chambers with a sentient computer plugged into our nerve system that adapts the script of the program to make sure that we know happiness exists but to never let us know how it feels; how else can you explain Jason Donovan being a famous singer and actor but still having to do reality programmes and adverts with Kerry Katona and the vile Coleen Nolan? Beautiful girls on the street with perfect personalities have boyfriends for a reason - they are made that way to make us miserable.

We have misery forced upon us so that the tests can establish the effects of it on the mind, because in the future, there is no misery. However, they are heading for economical recession; the first crisis of it's kind in over 20 years. Humanity got it's act together, combating global warming and economic crises by become self-sufficient and encasing society's in glass domes with artificial atmospheres and eco-systems. Life is perfect, but the resources are failing them and without resources the dome cannot be maintained against the harsh environment of our failing planet. Eventually humanity will be forced outside the dome, creating massive hysteria and shock. Misery has not been known for 20 years and the shock of it could kill thousand's of people.

So the government run a secret test on Donovan and I. If you think you are one of the other 4 then please step forward. We must escape.

A serious post?

A little bit serious. 

So weird situation at the moment. I'm sort of missing things I didn't appreciate previously, in a weird way. I've always been more up for just sitting back and letting things happen to me. That led to something of a lack of confidence, where I'd flirt in a guarded way with girls, then the lack of confidence strangled me when I realized I'd have to make effort and try. So I just didn't, I cut it off and ran away. I always did really like the girls I did it to; I didn't do it for shits and giggles. I was just a coward. 

So no more of that, mister. Going to start pulling my weight and stop just fucking moaning about shit all the time. Recent events have proved that people have it worse than I do. 

I'm not dead, I have both my legs and testicles, I don't have ME, I don't have irritable bowel syndrome, I do have friends, I'm not THAT unattractive and while I could do with losing a few pounds I'm not quite Rosie O'Donnel.

So I'm gonna shut up and do shit. Life doesn't come to you.

I saw a dove shit on a black kid today. I call birdy racism.

Childhood is short, immaturity is forever.

Ever get that feeling that you're never, ever going to grow up? Not in the psuedo-paedophilic Michael Jackson/Peter Pan kind of way. More going to business meetings but laughing about poop jokes in your head while other people are talking.

That's a weird way to start a blog.

So there's a book I'm writing! Yes, excitement. Should be a dramatic little piece, and the first chapter is going to be done at some point this week, if I get around to it. Maybe no one cares but I'm going to talk about it anyway. I think I stole one of the storylines from Spiderman though.

I walked into a complete stranger today and said 'alright mate' because I thought he was Lucky Malik. Lucky Malik he was not. I stared at him for about 5 seconds (he stared back), then sprinted around the corner with my head in my hands. Very masculine. What's even better is there was an old lady coming around said corner. She must have thought me rabid or something.

CILLIT BANG!

Today I inhaled a lot of Cillit Bang. Not on purpose, obviously; I was cleaning the bathroom. Why I was cleaning the bathroom has a long backstory that's too annoying to cover right now, but whatever. 

Sad that thats the most exciting thing I have to say about today, isn't it? 

New train of thought. This blog knows nothing about me so here is my tiny little autobiography. 

So I'm a drummer, a fairly good one. I don't have a particularly good kit but it's okay for practicing on, just some flats stuck in my room. I'm in a band with some ridiculously awesome musicians that I've been friends with since childhood, which is pretty lucky and coincidental. Or maybe it's destiny! Or maybe we're not as good as I think, who fuckin' knows.

Musics a fairly gigantic part of my life. I write it, play it, and listen to it. Mostly folk/metal/drum'n'bass. 

Seen that Philips Nivea for men, Feel Different advert? With the robot lady with the boobies? Yeah, that's my favourite song at the moment.

I like writing and reading. It's a dying art, unfortunately. Next year at University i'll be studying English. And alcohol. And the art of drunken v-logging with Daniel Murray of http://danrhymeswithstfu.blogspot.com.

I wanna go to space.

Blog the First.

It's somewhere around 1 in the morning by now. I've drunk too much and said too little so here's to balancing the equilibrium.

Let's begin. I think I might be going a little insane what with the social business lately. Having a bustling social life that you take for granted stripped from you over the course of a week is a strange experience. I'm clutching at my phone, glancing at it every now and then for the elusive 'new message' sign to pop up. It's never there. But I'm still avoiding sociality. I won't start conversations, I won't phone people, I'll shy away from intimacy and what not.

Maybe I'm autistic!  That would explain all the pooping on the table I've been doing lately.

Sorry, uncalled for.

You know what's shit? Da Vinci Code. And the God Delusion. Tossers.