Horjay.

Pippa did my HTML for me cause she's sexy and what not, so go Pippa.

Anyway, in Ryan news, life is dull. I literally revolve around zombies now. 

I watched Night of the Living Dead, Planet Terror, and 28 Days Later on Thursday. I played Dead Rising, Resident Evil, and Left 4 Dead (in which I played as a zombie and ate someones face) on Friday. 

Today? I drew up a plan. A plan of how I will make my escape from my room and reach Sainsbury's, a list of the people who will be useful to collect, a list of places I can get provisions, and a plan of action.

While some people might think this is sad, I think it's fucking awesome.

In other news, my stomach is fucked. I've been having a CVS episode for about a week now and it's worrying. Went to the doctors on Tuesday who felt me up then sent me to hospital for a blood test, so whatever. We'll find out if I'm dying or not on Tuesday of next week, hooray.

Needeth No Pompous Title.

Yeah, yeah, today was fine, whatever.

I'll cut to the chase; one of you should do my html for me. That's all. Make it pretentious please.

V-Day Landings

Today I stormed the beaches of my inability to feel love or indeed lust for anyone around me and was beaten soundly. The result of this defeat was that I decided to stay in my house and brood rather than attempt to make an attempt to defuse my seething bile-cannon aimed towards my attitude towards women. Then again where was I gonna go? Fuckin' pub, that's where.

So instead I watched Burn After Reading (genius; like Shakespearian tragedy) and the first episode of The Wire, which was decent, but I fell asleep. Impossible to watch an hour long gritty drama and maintain attention after watching a film.

I also realised what my main irk with the new iteration of Skins was. It's the fact that there is a tangible antagonist, in the form of that gangster played by Mackenzie Crook. In season 1 and 2, the episodes played out with obstacles like Cassies suicide attempt, Sid's lust for Michelle, Tony's genius bus-crash, and the death of Chris. All of these were hideously bleak, and inavoidable, which was nice - that was why I watched it. It was deliciously over the top and horrifically depressing. I thrived off of that.

Now, it's like fucking Pokemon, the cartoon series. Seriously, let me draw a metaphor here.

Okay, so the 'gang' has been established way too quickly. In 1 & 2 there were always disagreements and big, foreboding tensions between them (i.e, Sid & Tony). But already all the girls and boys are practically hi-fiving each other, selling drugs to help their new Congo friend stay in the country. Then, Mackenzie Crook does his whole bad guy routine, yet gets beaten. Comically.

Mackenzie Crook and his gangsters are Team Fucking Rocket from Pokemon. There's the 'comic' stupidity, the foiled attempts to beat the kids (which hasn't actually happened yet; bullshit. A real gangster would have murdered them all by now - twice). Crook might as well have flown into the sky and twinkled after he shat himself after eating those chillies.

Cook, the despicable tit, is the arrogant Ash, Emo Brown Guy (who's name I've forgotten) is Brock in his irritating faux maturity, Effy is Misty, the bossy, serious bitch, and JJ and Pandora are motherfucking Pokemon. Comic characters with little effect on the story but to be the bitches of the arrogant and demanding wankers in the foreground. 

Despicable. Pokemon plagiarism.

Who Watches The Watchmen?

I fucking will, I'll tell you that. 

Watchmen is a film coming out directed by Zack Snyder, the guy behind the 300's conversion from graphic novel to film. Clearly, he knows what he's doing, and Watchmen is about superheroes gone rogue. Pissed off superheroes is a recipe for an awesome film. It's going to be sweet.

I'm trying to wonder what's happened in my life worth writing about. It's not going too well. My acceptance for this town and my current lifestyle is barely restraining the mounting floods of disgruntlement I feel from crushing it all. Also, caffeine and Wii Fit. That's how fucking cool I am.